There are a lot of jokes about men who don’t want to get married or have kids. You hear them from women who are frustrated with boyfriends and from guys in locker rooms, bars and golf courses most often. When single men in a group of friends see one of their own getting a little too involved, nine times out of ten, the razzing begins. The question is, why do men want to avoid marriage and having kids? Most men are willing to give you an honest answer if you ask them. Yes, there are men who are looking for wives and don’t mind if they have a kid or two, but there are some who avoid this situation like they would a fatal disease. Here are some reasons why some men shy away from marriage or having kids.
They enjoy privacy and personal freedom
Some bachelors truly enjoy the lifestyle that they are living. They like being on their own schedules and having time to themselves. Not all men are into raising a family or being tied down to a certain way of life. Dating is one thing, but becoming involved in a serious relationship that leads to marriage is a life changer. This is one of the reasons why so many men refuse to entertain the notion of marriage and choose to date women who are less likely to be marriage minded themselves.
Current lifestyle is not good for family life
There are some who travel for their jobs, hobbies or who just enjoy copious amounts of travel. Not all lifestyles are conducive for family life and marriage could cause complications that are best avoided. Some good examples of this are professional sports players, travelling salesmen or guys who have high pressure jobs that keep them at work at all hours.
Preconceived notions about marriage
There are some men who come from broken families and they may have had experiences growing up that turn them off on marriage and kids. The fear of failure for marriage is stronger when there are few to no examples of a healthy relationship around to raise the bar on expectations. Parental behaviors and attitudes can have a lasting impression on young boys, particularly if they see aunts and uncles or other family members having the same issues with fighting and unhappiness. Who wants to jump into a lion’s den if you don’t have to? Some men would be more interested in marriage if they had seen examples of healthy relationships as they were growing up.
Too busy preparing for career
Men who are completing college or just beginning a new career may realize that they do not have the time for a committed relationship or kids. Marriage can be expensive and so can raising a family. Any man who has set personal and professional goals for his life, that does not include immediate marriage is the most likely to keep his attention on the things that he has to do to get where he wants to be in life. Those who think in terms of practicality may not have any interest in marriage or kids because their focus is solely on reaching set goals.
Haven’t met the right woman yet
Some men speak candidly about their desires to be married and have a family at some time in the future. Many of them will tell you that they have not yet met the woman that they want to settle down and build a life with. There are guys that know what they want and will not settle for anything less than that. Some of the wiser guys may know that compatibility is very important when it comes to long term relationships. These are the fellows that will date occasionally, but will not commit to anything serious or long term until they are sure that she is the one special lady for him.
Choosing to stay single after divorce
There are some men who have been married one or more times. Their past experiences may have given them more reasons not to marry than in favor. Some men choose to stay single after divorce because they do not want to go through the same problems that led to their other breakups. Divorce can get messy and very expensive, especially for the person who makes the highest wage in the relationship.
Advantage and disadvantage of early marriage
Early marriages that work out can bring a lifetime of special memories, joint effort in building a home, family and great companionship in old age. The disadvantage of early marriages is that most do not work out so well. As people grow and mature, their tastes may change and sadly, many people just grow apart and end up going their separate ways. Sometimes it pays to wait until you’ve had a chance to experience the world and mature so you know what it is that you truly want in a partner and out of life in general.
In order to understand why some men do not want to get married and have kids, it helps to look at the reasons for marriage. Why do people get married? What is the purpose of marriage? In general, the most common reason that people get married is because they are in love and want to build a life together. Some look forward to having kids and raising a family, while others are content to remain as a couple. When two people find one another, they may want to make it official through the act of marriage, while some couples are perfectly content to live together without the legal contract.
Each man is an individual and it could be a little unfair to generalize and try to determine why a certain man may not want marriage with kids. There are a lot of different reasons why some men are opposed to marrying. It is a personal choice and for whatever reason, every man has the right to marry or to pass if that is how they want to live their lives. Some may hold off until they feel that they are ready, and some may remain confirmed bachelors for life.